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There is nothing quite as sweet (and dangerous) as buying your loved one lingerie. What it says is “You’re physically attractive to me and I want to see more!” Of course, this attraction-factor also makes buying lingerie hard, because if you get it wrong and it doesn’t make your loved one stunningly beautiful, you’re likely to end up defusing a volatile situation. This doesn’t have to happen. With a few tips to buying your woman (or man) lingerie, you can find just the right piece.

The first thing to remember when shopping for lingerie is to remember who you’re shopping for. Just because you might like that lacy, stringy black teddy doesn’t mean she will. Find out what she likes. You should have a general idea, but if you don’t, there’s no shame in admitting it. Take a peek in her underwear drawer. Look in her closet. Ask her. Talk to her mother. How you find out isn’t important. If you find that she’s a jeans and T-shirt kind of gal, don’t go out and buy her a see-through teddy with spaghetti straps. Does she like tight clothes? She may enjoy wearing something form-fitting, like a Lycra or spandex teddy. She might also like corsets or bustiers that flatter her figure.

What does her personality tell you she likes? A tomboy isn’t going to want a lacy, frilly gown. Try to force the issue and see what happens. In this case, maybe a thong or a pair or two of boy shorts would go over well. On the other hand, if you regularly see her walking around in next to nothing, and you know she’s got a kinky side, something more risqu would be an order. Perhaps a bikini set. Maybe something more dramatic. A sheer chemise with fishnet stockings. Maybe a whip to go with it. Or you can just buy a naughty maid or sexy nurse costume and dispense with the whole charade.

Fabric is a big consideration when buying lingerie. There are a myriad of comfortable, sexy fabrics out there. Some of these, like silk and satin, are popular with lingerie designers. Other fabrics appeal to men (and women) interested only in what lingerie can do. “Exotic” fabrics like velvet and leather, for example. They’re not always comfortable. But they bring sexiness and allure to a new level. Cotton is new on the lingerie scene. Its comfort is unrivaled. It is also reasonably priced.

Buying sexy lingerie for plus-sized women isn’t as difficult as it might seem. These women often need more support around the bust. A wired bra, a corset or bustier will accessorize with another piece of lingerie to give her both comfort and support. If she is larger around the waist, go with a flowing chemise or negligee. The important thing to remember with larger-sized women is that they don’t usually feel comfortable in their bodies. Get them lingerie that accentuates the things you find attractive, and show her that you think she is beautiful.

Not much is said of buying lingerie for men. It might be because women generally know what their men want. Or maybe men aren’t as particular. But with choices growing daily, men’s lingerie can be hard to choose. Only one body part needs to be covered. But what do you cover it in? A thong, briefs, backless shorts? What fabric do you buy? Leather is a quick attractant. Silk is luxurious. Lycra, a relatively new fabric for lingerie, is form-fitting and sexy. Just as with buying women’s lingerie, find out what your man likes before shopping

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